FRIDAY FUNNIES!! Hell why wait till Sunday when you can have a good laugh now!!!!!

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune say, "One Marine is better
than ten Taliban."

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few
minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out, "One Marine is better than a hundred Taliban soldiers."

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Marine voice calls out, "One Marine is better than one thousand Taliban."

The enraged Taliban commander musters a thousand fighters and sends them over the dune. Cannon, rocket, and machine gun fire rings out as a huge battle is fought.

Then silence. Finally one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any
more men, it's a trap. There are two of them."


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YOU MAY BE A MEMBER OF AL-QUEDA OR THE TALIBAN IF:

10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't
afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition and
explosives in your robe.

4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look fat?"

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.

2. You've frequently uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your
cave."

1. You wipe your ass with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.


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REDNECK DOG

On a hot summer day, a Redneck came into town with his dog. He tied the dog
under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold beer.

About 20 minutes later a policeman came into the bar and asked who owned
the dog tied under the tree.

The redneck said that it was his.

The policeman said, "Your dog seems to be in heat."

The redneck replies, "No way dog's in heat she's cool kawse I got 'er tied
unner the shade tree."

The policeman says, "No! You don't understand your dog needs to be bred.

"No way," the redneck says, "dog don't need bread, she ain't hongry, kawse
I fed 'ER beef jerky this mornin'."

Now the policeman gets mad and yells out; "NO! You don't seem to
understand, your dog wants to have sex!"

The redneck looks at him with a long pause and says, "Go 'head. I always
wanted a police dog!"